Call Me Israel

"Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God..."

How often I find myself feeling like I'm struggling with God! How often I feel Israel is my name! Without a doubt, I love God. I am comforted by the knowledge that God is my God. I am comforted that God's promise and His love doesn't depend on me, for surely I fail daily to keep my promises to God. And if God's love was based on my strength to do what is pleasing to God, instead of His omnipotent Grace, I would surely perish.

But is it God who I struggle with? Are his commandments a burden to me? Is seeking His face an arduous journey? Certainly not!

Instead, I think it is Satan that I struggle with. Satan is the one who tempts me. So subtle he is that I think it is God that I struggle against. But when I stop and consider the nature of my struggles, I realize that it is temptation that confronts me and conflicts my desires. And God doesn't tempt. Satan tempts, God tests.

So when I think myself to be Israel, it is not Israel, but instead, one who struggles against Satan. What is the name for that?